self growth, elevate, lets go, pisces chat, aries season, covid chat

where do I even start?

Clearly?

I’ve been a little missing in action but honestly there’s been so many things that have radically changed especially since the beginning of this calendar year; maybe since… actually? During peak covid season honestly.… like a domino effect we can say?

I don’t even know where to start!

I mean from career life, personal life, health life, family life? …You name it? It’s like I’m a completely different human. It’s so odd and although in the midst of this madness I call my life (on god? I need my own reality show bro) ha!? It almost feels so relaxed, peaceful and by no means is it perfect… but it’s exactly how it’s supposed to be.

Without a doubt my overall perspective throughout the years and recently has changed alot –  I think it was beyond needed too. With that said we all know right that life unfortunately has the weirdest ways in teaching us things… that are not always the chuchiest “per say” but they get the job done & inflict a spark for change/changes . Changes that maybe at one time I didn’t think I needed; but the universe I guess thought differently and I was clearly ready for but no where near where I thought.

I’ve always been a true believer that everything happens for a reason. It’s the Pisces in me. So at some point (a quite low point about 3 years ago and again everything happens for a reason)  so it so happened to be… I came across a YouTube video and heard this one quote; that not only changed my life but really made my  “everything happens for a reason” belief so much stronger.

An amazing mind: Steve Jobs said this one quote in an his mega inspirational speech he gave to the Stanford 2005 graduation class; (if you haven’t watched it ill link it here)  and the quote goes as following:

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.”

For whatever reason that quote right there? Ufff! gave me so much peace because he’s right. If we would look back in life even in the hard times I’m sure those hard times were meant for something.

Speaking for myself but I’m sure everybody can agree? Life? bueno it isn’t easy. For anybody really? Doesn’t matter your background, race, sexual orientation and etc. We all have struggles.

Life; will test you in all kinds of ways, faith in oneself, your fears, your strengths, your abilities, your weaknesses, test you when everything is great, life will even test your personal values.  

And that’s what’s really cool thing about The Human Experience; it’s all completely individualized to oneself. No one has the same experiences, or nor at the same times or ages we all go to different things at different times in our life but for most of them we have similar emotional reactions and domino effects into our personal lives and to each other lives too. 

I use the word test a lot when referring to a life because that’s exactly what I feel it does and it’s always in the benefit of oneself because it’s giving us the ability to learn from that/those personal experiences.

As a Pisces you guys already know I always refer back to astrology. It’s a passion of mine. What can I say?! 

I like to go deep and I like to go to the root of just about everything; but not really like for myself ... if that makes sense? 

Ultimately as I connect my “37” dots *cough cough* backwards…. besides the positives? I also have to look back at my learning experiences right? 

which we all know how those come about right? 

Super grateful for all my personal experiences because in every experience like I said before you have the ability to learn. And that’s why I say life is a test because it will come back to see if you really did learn that lesson or not you know?

Everything I needed to work on; in myself? was literally in front of my very eyes. Whether that be in my career, whether that be in my personal life and my friendships in my family dynamics everything and I mean everything that I needed to work on in myself was literally all around me.

Let me tell you guys…. after I got covid? Woah… did that really change me? An understatement… I really thought I was going to die, no lie…you guys…  I’m not exaggerating, I really thought I was going to pass away. This was VERY scary. This is by no means me playing the violin out here, cause GOD knows how happy I am! My son is healthy, I’m ok, and I’m so happy my family is also healthy. 

It just kind of…opened my eyes really! 

And no doubt this test of faith really changed me…. again I really thought I was going to pass away. I really have to emphasize this because this is what I was mentally feeling/thinking and processing.

My blood pressure was through the roof on both ends, like NOTHING I had never seen before the fear of a heart attack, going to ER, popping baby aspirins like water? Got an infection, my body wouldn’t retain any antibiotic; 6rounds , dropped a tooth (my dentist is really who saved my life), heightened my PCOS like nothing till this day, facial paralysis, brought out an auto immune disease HS, Body pain? I was in the worst pain I think I ever have been in…. Honestly! y eso that I’ve given birth and have PCOS cramps iykyk.

Not only was there so much pain like everywhere but I was completely fear-ridden.
Oh my God I had so many fears! SO MANY! That’s actually when I realized I had barely grazed “healing” my anxiety issues or so I thought I had worked on! AND shiiiiiiiiiit was I wrong! 

I was in complete disbelief with the amount of fears that came across my mind and unfortunately facing some of my most personal scariest fears too…  it wasn’t, it wasn’t a good place; not mentally, spiritually, emotionally nor physically!

My actual reaction throughout the process. You know you always hear about when in these moments? High stress? Do you go into flight or fight mode? Not sure where I was actually? 
If I could describe it? I would say I was like an seriously injured animal mode? I don’t know. You know like in full defense mode? I mean… again this was ALOT! and alot to process after.

And most definitely after going through all of that? I don’t know, I went into a full hermit mode and just really started to reflect on all sorts of things. 

As well as the universe placed to meet with a shit ton of these “life tests” all around at the same time too! From my career, , financial stability, my personal relationship, to my so-called friendships, acquaintances, my health? My life purpose? 

I'm telling you when I go deep??!?!
 I go DEEP and ultimately I never really had downtime like that.  

was it the ideal circumstances to call it downtime? 

Eh I don’t think so, but due to my life, lifestyle and career I don’t remember ever having this amount of time “off” and I think the covid era really impacted all of us individually & differently.  

So if you’ve been following me on Instagram or any other social media, not only do I look different because my appearance has to also changed. which I will jump into later as well but I overall as ADE has changed completely inside out.

I’ve learned a lot through this connecting the dots process. I’ve learned a lot about myself; I also learned that I HAVE faced a lot of things and have surpassed them time and time again!  

As I’m sure if you were to look back in your life although you’ve probably faced your own set of hardships (really take yourself back to a moment in your life that you felt you were unable to surpass? You know that one moment that you prayed or even asked the universe why bro?) really doesn’t matter if it’s recent or even a long time ago … you did surpass. 

But better yet what did you learn and most of all what did you learn about yourself?
Because ultimately that’s what these life tests are about?
Not only to prepare you to be able to face them, to be able to actually see it before it comes cause you learned! 

It’s about what you needed to learn about yourself during these occasions, to learn about your triggers, to learn why you even have these triggers, to dig deep as to why you have those fears and how to deal with them. 

Because life it’s not about pointing fingers not because it always takes two to tango in every scenario and I believe we’re all always accountable for our actions or our non action taking to whatever the scenario may be.

So refrain from asking yourself why me? But what did I really need to learn from this? 

I’ll tell you what … I have changed a lot but I’m happy about these changes. I’ve been fearful of a lot of things that honestly I don’t really think I was aware of.

As one of my goals for this new year as we are still in Pisces season believe it or not. And with the new moon also in Pisces it really invites us to let go of anything that we’ve been holding onto so we can start on a new clean slate in the Aries season; as that’s where the year technically starts. 

I too have been studying Vedic sidereal astrology and as you all know I’ve always been so passionate about this too ( I think that’s also because I really wanted to be an astronaut & you know this is the closest it’s really going to get for me). 

But all jokes aside I have directed A LOT of my energy to not only studying Vedic astrology but also preaching it lollll because once you really start to study sidereal astrology you realize… well Western astrology … I don’t want to insult anybody but it’s pretty false …. 

And with that being said I finally made an astrology page which not only focused on Vedic/Sidereal astrology of course always sidereal but also my random psychological thoughts and the whole lot of interaction over there as well!

vedic, sidereal, real astrology, tweet, astro tweet, astrology facts, real astrology, truth seeker
And to be quite honest?? I’m pretty stoked about it!

If you’ve made it this far I really appreciate your time, your support but most importantly I appreciate you guys and your patience throughout my life journey! 

I know I come in and out active sometimes not but you know what they say about healing; it’s definitely not linear .

I love you guys and I hope you guys stay tuned for so much that I have in store, so much to share especially to my PCOS gals and OF course loads of glam!

Sending you all love and light!

xoxo

Ade 🖤

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pero mucho, mucho mucho amor

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